it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
