Do you still have your period?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
