do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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