well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We got so high we made milksteak
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to sanitize my soul.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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