The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
