I just made out with a guy for $7.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
