hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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