This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
