If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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