He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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