Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
