i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
