I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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