Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
pop tarts are not kleenex
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
