Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
