what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
