If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
