don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
