Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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