Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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