i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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