NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
