mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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