Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
