Swine flu. Run for my life!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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