I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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