it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
