Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
