She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
