Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
