About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
