Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
