Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
