He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
