I heard we made out
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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