I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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