the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
