Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
