Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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