just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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