You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize