it's great music for shaving your balls
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
