i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
