is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize