These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
