I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
