I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
