Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ok first of all what the fuck
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