i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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