Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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