if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Redeem this text for a blowjob
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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