It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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