I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
