then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
