so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
