if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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