Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
