Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
