Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
vagina is talking i cant
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
