Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
